Have I professed my love for Jessica Simpson’s breasts lately? I try to do it twice a day. And yes, if you think that was a dirty masturbation joke give yourself a pat on the back. Here she is going somewhere, showing off her massive fat girl boobs on a nicely proportionate body. That almost never happens. I want to nestle up into those skin pillows and sleep for forty days and forty nights. I sometimes fart in my sleep, but I’m sure she won’t mind. Call me.
Courtney Love and Jessica Simpson may seem like an unlikely duo, but then again, Courtney Love paired with just about anyone can seem unlikely.
The Hole singer took to her Twitter account over the weekend to gush about her new, “hawt as hell” gal-pal. “‘SExual Napam’ BONDED!” she declares.
Not surprisingly, Jess, who doesn’t much care for being referred to as “sexual napalm,” hasn’t responded.
“Hopefully I won’t say anything stupid but I have a serious ?,” Courtney writes in a direct tweet. That’s when things start to get Love-ly (read: weird)…
“1 your really hot and ive always thought you were a very hardworking pop singer who deserved success. thats primary,” says Love, who like Simpson has been linked to Billy Corgan. “Your deaf friend used to live downtown and have really loud sex with my friend btw he was cute ! but but but why the HE:LL do you chew Nicorette gum and are addicted to it yet have never smoked in yr life? Dude i do blonde things too.”
Jessica Simpson set out to challenge the concept of beauty ever since she ran out of other career options endured that chili cookoff mom jeans debacle last year.
Her boldest step yet? Going makeup-free in Marie Claire.
“I don’t have anything to prove anymore,” she said, and not because we know she’s sexual napalm in the bedroom. “What other people think is not my business.”
The Price of Beauty star says what prompted her to show “the real her,” wearing no makeup at all and even air-drying her hair for the shoots, is a simple desire.
Inspired by her very own A Beautiful Me initiative, which encourages women to be comfortable in their skins, Jessica Simpson wants to prove real beauty lies within.
That’s totally what made her a celebrity, and what she’s promoted in music, TV and film vehicles throughout her career too. The importance of inner beauty.
No retouching. No regrets. Still low cut.
Not that she’s done mixing things up. “If I’m in a mood to go out and feel hot and sexy, I want long hair I can feel on my back. But I also like bed head,” she says.
What do you think of her Marie Clarie photo shoot? Do you like seeing Jessica Simpson pictures with no makeup, or do you prefer the “enhanced” version? Vote!
Jessica Simpson looks best with …
| Loads of Makeup | |
| No Makeup | |
| No Clothes |
- Lindsay Lohan’s Lawsuit: This is definitely what’s happening. [PopEater]
- Jessica Simpson talks about something on Letterman but you can’t see her cleavage no one cares. [Lainey Gossip]
- Amy Winehouse is designing clothes now. You’ll believe a woman can wear a bottle of rum. [Dlisted]
- Christoph Waltz should stop bogarting the free BJs. [Celebslam]
- Kristen Stewart proves Hollywood is a bunch of prudes. [Huffington Post]
- Elton John replacing Simon Cowell? [TheFABlife]
- Kendra Wilksinson literally thought the stork would just drop the kid off. [Amy Grindhouse]
- Ashley Greene’s breasts are still out there. [PopSugar]
- Mario Lopez impregnated a woman? That can’t be right… [ICYDK]
- Jessica Biel climbs goddamn mountains, but go ahead and bang go-go dancers, Justin Timberlake. That won’t end with a Yeti in your cereal. [Socialite Life]
- Charlie Sheen prepares to throw Brooke Mueller under the bus. [Betty Confidential]
Because he’s already played an explosive expert in The Hurt Locker, Jeremy Renner thinks it’s time to start handling some real napalm. With his penis. People reports:
Jeremy spent the night hitting on Jessica like crazy,” the source says. “They were really flirting up a storm.” Paves encouraged the two and, the source says, “Jessica loved it!” When the party was over, the two exchanged numbers, entering them into their phones.
Seriously, good for Jeremy Renner. If I managed to come out of nowhere and land a Best Actor nom for playing a character with gigantic testicles, you better believe “Motorboating Jessica Simpson” would be on my to-do list. I’m not saying it’d be the first item, but it’d definitely be somewhere before eating an albino tiger and hunting Dane Cook for sport. Of course, all this is predicated on the fact I think winning an Oscar is the same as finding a genie’s lamp.
“I don’t want people to know how I am in bed!” Ms. Sexual Napalm lamented on The Oprah Winfrey Show in an interview scheduled to air Wednesday.
Mayer likened his attractive ex, whom he split from in 2007 after about a year of dating, to “crack cocaine” whose a$$ he just could not stop tapping.
Friends say she was taken by John to dark sexual places, and enjoyed being manhandled like a rag doll, but still can’t believe he would bone and tell.
He says he later apologized for being “an a–hole.”
NAPALM: That’s Jessica Simpson in one word.
Simpson also admitted she struggles with criticism of her weight, which became a focal point a lot last year after she wore mom jeans and other rough clothes.
“It’s a really hard thing for me to talk about,” the upset reality star (her new show, The Price of Beauty, which is apparently real, debuts March 15) tells Oprah.
“You were a size 4 and people were calling you fat?” the talk show host says in shock, referring to infamous mom jeans Jessica Simpson wore to a chili cook off.
It’s true. People were. But if she was fat then, she’s certainly not now, as recent Jessica Simpson pictures can attest. Talent, she lacks. But a killer bod? Wow.
Somewhat similarly, as much as we might like to “unfriend” Jessica Simpson on Twitter, we can’t turn it off or hold back from posting her insight on THG.
Jessica has learned a thing or two from her past relationships with the likes of Mayer, Nick Lachey, etc.: “You can’t love someone else to change them.”
Deep.
“Happiness comes from accepting who they are,” the reality star and former singer continued Tweeting. “It is our decision to REALLY know who we love.”
We know one guy she’s got no love for nowadays.
Jessica Simpson is a Tweeting fiend.
The 29-year-olds most talked-about ex these days is certainly Mayer, who found himself in hot water after candidly telling Playboy all about riding that ass.
He also dropped racial and gay slurs, which was even less cool.
John, who some say she created, likened her to crack cocaine and said she was “crazy” in bed. But did he try to “change” Simpson, as her Tweet implies?
During their time together, “[Mayer] brought her to new places sexually, and they were dark places,” an insider said. “She liked being a bad girl and getting manhandled, but now she feels it was a mistake because of what he said in the interview.”
We can’t decide if that’s LOL or TMI material.
Another Jessica Simpson source adds that the star is “disgusted” by Mayer’s remarks. “He actually texted apologizing, like, 12 times, but she ignored it.”
We can’t imagine why.
Jessica Simpson decided to explore the question about what is beautiful around the world in her new VH1 show, ‘The Price of Beauty.’
Two months in a hut trying to get FAT? Talk about being completely different from the United States (or most of the West, for that matter).
A celebrity gossip magazine alleges that Jessica Simpson created the dating monster that is John Mayer. Must have been a slow week over at OK! HQ.
Before he met Jessica, John Mayer was “just another musician,” according to friends of Simpson, who are delusional and say she put him on the map.
While it is possible that Jessica helped catapult John onto the celebrity dating map in a sense, he was a well-established figure in that realm as well.
The name Jennifer Love Hewitt ring a bell, anyone? Thought so. In any case, Jessica’s friends are on the offensive after John betrayed her this month …
How these two didn’t last is beyond us.
In any case, the magazine says it was Jessica’s relationship with John – who recently humiliated her by revealing intimate details about their sex life – that propelled his ascent up the dating food chain after the couple split in 2006.
“It was only after she gave her seal of approval that A-listers like Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz started dating him,” the source says. “Before that he was a successful musician, no doubt, but Jess ushered him into the world of celebrity dating.”
“A lot of Jess’s friends joke that she created a monster,” a source tells OK!, adding: “She put John on the map and made him a tabloid sensation.”
There’s no way those quotes are real, but hey, it’s a good celebrity gossip debate – did Jessica raise John’s dating profile? Or was he slumming it?
They say they are cleaner than any other pet…
Teacup piglets are THE hottest thing as of late and Jessica Simpson is considering purchasing one since she no longer has her dog, Daisy.
“I’m thinking about getting a pet pig. Does this mean I’ll have to give up pork?”
Hmmnn – I supposed that does pose a dilemma for pork lovers.
Do you know anyone that has a pet pig? What do you think about the phenomenon?
